Waiting for a little one by Lisa
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My name is Lisa, I am the founder of Make My Lemonade, I live in Paris with my boyfriend and my cat Frida, and I’m pregnant with a little girl who is due in July.
The maternity project
I met my boyfriend during the first lockdown, quite an achievement, right? And by the nature of things, during a strict lockdown, time passes differently; it’s like elastic. We talked about everything and anything, and about deep topics quite quickly, especially with the lack of social interactions, outings, or work. Naturally, you have more time to get to know the other person. The following summer, we went on vacation in a van, our trial by fire, and it was really great, clear as day. Then we decided to move in together fairly quickly. The week I moved in with him, we found out I was pregnant. We said "Go", that we were going for it, that it was crazy, but that we had a really good feeling and everything would work out. We were in love and needed to celebrate life.
Pregnancy
This pregnancy, like the rest of my life, I approach in a fairly calm way. These are steps I didn’t really seek, but that have come to me. I’m quite relaxed, even though I don’t particularly enjoy being pregnant, especially the last trimester! We did add a little extra challenge by buying an apartment; it’s a bit of the grand slam of conventional adult life: moving in, having a baby, first purchase... we’re checking off a lot of boxes at once, and that’s pretty new for me. But I admit, we’re very lucky—first, to be able to do this, and especially in the current context, it gives us such positive and joyful prospects. The atmosphere is definitely heavy, but at least we have our little projects, and not just any (laughs), which make us happy.
The impact on professional life
The arrival of this unexpected pregnancy has shaken up the order of things a bit, allowing me to take a step back, especially in terms of work. Surviving 2020 was quite something, but we managed it thanks to the amazing team at Make My Lemonade that surrounds me. I felt that we stayed true to our values, aligned with our choices, and it was also a moment where we felt like we were making a real return to our roots. During the first lockdown, I was alone at home. With this isolation, I used images and videos as a bridge to the outside world, and I ended up putting myself much more in the spotlight than usual. It happened very naturally: we shared more tutorials on social media, things that reminded us of the beginnings of the Make My Lemonade adventure. I also shared how I did my work alone... and people loved it! We simply showed authenticity and resourcefulness, which has always been our DNA, and it did us good to reaffirm our values. To the team, to me. Of course, with a pre-COVID daily life where we were in "head-down" mode, moving forward in a whirlwind, it was very difficult to suddenly stop, but if we look at things with a half-full glass perspective, it was a refreshing pause. It allowed all of us to prove that we could reinvent ourselves. This situation forced us to rethink things, for the better and for the well-being of the team members.
Preparing for maternity leave
Becoming a mom also plays a part in all of this. Simoné, who has been working with me for several years, has started setting things up at the office—simple processes that we hadn’t necessarily taken the time to implement before. And I’m happy to think that when I’m on maternity leave, everything will be organized without me having to worry or be concerned: retro planning, a few meetings. I have to admit, I’m not really a fan of meetings, but to manage a team, I realize it’s essential, especially when remote work becomes the norm.
Regarding maternity leave, there’s always the theory and the practice: with Make My Lemonade, we’re releasing a new collection in September, and I want to shoot everything before I leave. Shooting is probably my favorite part of my daily routine, and I want to be there for this one. We have a super cool collaboration planned that’s very dear to me, so I hope I can get everything done before I go. And it’s funny, but I feel really inspired right now. There are days when inspiration is on strike, when everything feels sluggish, which is tough in a creative job. But strangely, right now it’s coming easily. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more organized or the magical energy of being pregnant, but I feel calm, serene, and productive!
Projecting into the future
I feel like this arrival is going to shake up quite a few things. For example, right now, I don’t have any childcare plans in place. I feel lucky to be my own boss and maybe be able to figure it out when she’s here. I don’t even know her yet, and I think it’s so crazy to be thinking about childcare without knowing what she’ll be like. I hope I can gradually return to remote work and then take her with me to the office from time to time. Imagining the upcoming weeks of taking care of her, and not having to leave her so young, really frees my mind. I’d like us to be together at least until she’s 6 months old. If she’s the type of baby who cries as soon as you put her down, that might make things more complicated (laughs), I’m sure, but the idea is to make it work for her, for me, and also for my team. But in any case, I hope to make the most of it. That’s the theory... well, my theory.
Waiting for a little girl
It’s funny, but I knew it. Last year, at a party, someone suggested I try the pendulum test: you take a necklace you often wear and hold it over the palm of your hand. If the necklace swings from left to right, it means you’ll have a boy, and if it makes circles, it’ll be a girl. One of my super pregnant friends had done it and got the answer: two boys. I was right next to her, so I did it too, and the necklace made two little circles! So it stuck in the back of my mind (laughs).
When we had our first ultrasound, the gynecologist asked if we wanted to know the gender. We did, and it was a little girl! We left the ultrasound, practically floating on air. The happiness...! That afternoon, there was a very important launch for Make My Lemonade, and my boyfriend asked if I wasn’t too stressed, and I looked at him smiling and said, "No, what matters today is that we’re having a girl!" That immediately put us in a very concrete mood. Nothing felt serious or stressful compared to that amazing news.
The birth
I’m a little apprehensive... In fact, what I’m most apprehensive about, more than the birth itself, is the postpartum. I think I love my belly, but I’m afraid of the soft, empty belly afterwards. However, I’m sure my mind will be focused on the baby, but I’m dreading the upheaval, the drop in hormones, the body in disarray. In fact, my mood is so linked to how I feel in my body that I’m a little afraid of not being connected to myself because I might not recognize myself anymore. I’m not even talking about weight; it’s more that something that was so full suddenly becomes very empty...
Before, I was terrified of giving birth, and the more I move forward, the more I realize that it’s a step, a great step to having my baby! I’m really starting to relax about it. Before, I was very much "I want an epidural at all costs," and the more I read things, the more I consider maybe other options... we’ll see in a few weeks... I’ve understood that when you don’t have an epidural, you can get back on your feet pretty quickly afterwards. So actually, I’m more apprehensive about the empty belly and postpartum, rather than the birth itself!
The liberation of speech
I find that there’s a lot more openness about the struggles of postpartum and its consequences, such as "I didn’t have time to take a shower" or "I didn’t have time to do anything all day," as well as much more serious states linked to this unique period. I noticed that there was a boom on social media about this at the time I found out I was pregnant, and I was quite taken aback, not really sure I wanted to experience that myself. I talked about it with pregnant friends or mothers who told me, "Yes, we talk a lot about the negative, but that’s not all! There are plenty of times when everything goes well, plenty of times when your baby is fine enough for you to put him down, when you have time to take a shower, and that EVERYTHING PASSES, even if it’s hard." And I also want to focus on that to stay calm.
Preparation
When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped exercising. I just didn’t feel like it anymore. One of the first symptoms I had, and still have, which I find very disabling, is shortness of breath. Talking with a mask on is difficult, walking to work with a mask while talking... it’s really hard. I do my 10,000 steps a day, that’s my only form of exercise! And during the lockdown, the very idea of doing prenatal yoga in front of my screen depressed me... so I’m not doing much to prepare, I mostly walk to stay active.
We’re going to start childbirth preparation soon. We’re a bit short on time because we also have to do some work in our new apartment, prepare for the baby’s arrival, her room (and my postpartum ;) ). If everything goes well, it will all come together just in time! What’s annoying is that we don’t know, we’re not in control of anything, just like with everything else, it feels like it’s all about letting go!
Her arrival
We trust her, she’ll decide the right time to come. Well, if she could arrive after July 1st, that would be great so my partner could benefit from the new paternity leave, even though we just learned that the insurance considers the due date as the reference date! That’s the only request we’ve made, as late as possible, so we can be well settled. If she wants to arrive on July 14th, that’s fine! And that way, she’ll have a fireworks display to welcome her (laughs)!
It would be great if we both have two months with her (28 days + vacation). All our friends who are already parents assure us that we won’t be two too many to take care of her at the start... And I think that, in terms of building the bond and balance in the couple, it’s super important that we experience this together. We’re lucky that she’s coming in the summer, which is a bit quieter for us in terms of activities, so we realize how lucky we are to be able to slow down and focus on our personal life during this parental leave.
The father’s role
It’s quite natural. I knew that once we decided that my pregnancy was good news, it felt really natural, and it’s a joy to live it together. The choice of the name was really clear. I think I was pregnant for about a month, and we knew that if it was a girl, we would want to call her that. He even campaigned for that particular name. And thank goodness it wasn’t a boy, because we didn’t agree on that!
Otherwise, on the day-to-day theory, we are aligned, which is already something, because I think I wouldn’t be as calm if I couldn’t truly rely on him. He takes on a lot of things, and there’s no issue of mental load...
The advice I wish I’d been given
I think I would have liked to be told that “what we know is that we know nothing”! And that I’d be told that for the first time, I would be scared, really scared... that’s quite new. I’m not scared of much, but here, I am. If one day I feel her move less than usual, it’s a paralyzing anxiety, a fear I’ve never experienced. I find myself praying to whoever, saying, “Please, little one, move!” and that’s crazy... And I think it’s not going to get any better, right?
