Multitasking mama by Kitesy

Reading time: 5 min.

My name is Kitesy Martin, I’m 36 years old, and I live in Paris. I’m the mother of Indya, who is 18 months old, and I live with my partner Enzo, Indya, and our cat Yolo. I’m an entrepreneur. I first created a hip-hop yoga concept called Humble Warrior, and then a responsible jewelry brand that carries my name. This brand is two years old, and Humble Warrior has been around for 4 years now. I’ve been independent for 6 years, because before that, I started another leather goods brand that no longer exists today. I feel that my job is being an entrepreneur before being a designer. My true path is this.

Entrepreneurship and motherhood

I feel that it’s easier to be an entrepreneur with a young child than to be an employee in a company. I was an employee for 9 years before this, and I know that it’s not easy to leave work before 6 p.m., it’s not easy to arrive after 10 a.m. It’s not easy to fit doctor’s appointments into the day, including pediatrician visits. The advantage of being an entrepreneur is that there’s a lot of freedom with the schedule. We work a lot, but there’s real freedom. And I find that it’s totally suited to the life of young parents. So, I feel that it’s much simpler for me.

In the morning, I get ready once I’ve dropped Indya off at daycare. I drop her off at 8:45 a.m., then I come back here, take a shower, etc. I have some peace to get ready. I don’t have to rush to get us both ready, drop her off, and then catch the metro directly."

Maternity leave

On the other hand, maternity leave – forget it. I taught yoga classes while pregnant until I was 8 and a half months pregnant. I had filmed a class with the Nike team, and they were quite surprised and didn’t expect me to be so pregnant (laughs). For me, yoga really helped during that time, it was perfect to be able to continue practicing regularly. After that, I slowed down, I taught fewer classes, only when it was absolutely necessary with my business partner.

I slowed down after my 7th month, I think, which is still quite late. But for the rest, I worked normally until the end. It was the return to work that was more complicated. A woman who works in a company has her maternity leave that continues when the baby is born. For me, for example, I was on the phone with Nike from the maternity ward for a collaboration with my jewelry, and of course, I couldn’t say no, the brand had barely been around for 6 months! Someone from Nike had the audacity to say, "But wait, she's pregnant, this is complicated," and I was a bit taken aback because, in fact, it was up to me to decide whether I wanted to do it or not.

I had just given birth, and we were supposed to have a call about this collaboration. That same morning, my water broke. I called the Nike contact to tell her that I’d just lost my waters and we’d have to reschedule the call (laughs). I still told her that for me, it was still on, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity and all the visibility it would bring to the project. So, I gave birth, everything went really well, and the next day, I think, I texted my contact to say, "If you need to do this call, no problem, I’m at the maternity ward, so if there’s a time I’m more available, it’s now," since the midwives were there, etc. So I did the conference call in the hallways (laughs). As soon as I got home, I had to get back to work, it had to be done.

Getting organized

My partner and I had to organize ourselves because, as he’s an athlete, he travels all the time. We figured it would be ideal for her to be born around the end of July or early August because that’s when he doesn’t have any competitions. And we got lucky, she was born on August 3rd, just as we wanted. Enzo was on vacation, so he took over. The only thing he couldn’t do was breastfeeding, so we ended up in some pretty tricky situations. I wasn’t sleeping, and at first, breastfeeding was total chaos—there was no routine. I was breastfeeding while making jewelry, it was crazy!

Working with a young baby

I worked while she slept. From 8 a.m. to 3 a.m., I would say to myself, "Okay, now I’m working." I made my jewelry, my best friend came to help, and Enzo helped with the boxes, etc. But she was only 10 days old, and such a tiny baby doesn’t sleep for long stretches. There’s no routine. You don’t know when it’s possible or not.

A bad memory comes to mind. I was going to one of my suppliers to pick up chains that Nike wanted in a certain color to mix with my vintage pieces—and thankfully, I live in Paris and the suppliers are nearby—but I was breastfeeding. So Enzo offered to accompany me with the stroller so I could go into the supplier’s while he did stroller laps until she needed me. He had to call me at that moment so we could go to a café and settle in for me to breastfeed.

I felt my milk coming in, and she was just down the street, so I had to tell the supplier, "I’ll be back in 5 minutes," to go settle into a café. The waiter on the terrace gave me an odd look as I was sitting there just to breastfeed my baby. And I kind of understand because it’s still something intimate that can throw people off. So, I handed Indya back to Enzo so he could go for another stroll with the stroller while I finished my order with the supplier. Teamwork—thankfully, he was on vacation!

Teamwork

I didn’t have any holidays or rest, but since my business is a bit like my baby too, I didn’t feel the sacrifice at all. On the contrary, I was very happy, and looking back, I wouldn’t want it to have happened any other way.

I have memories of us having to take photos of the jewelry, and I filmed all of it. Indya was in her bouncer next to me, and I would rock her with my foot, or Enzo would be there taking care of her. It really brought us closer, we built this project together. It got us into a good rhythm—whenever we had free time, we’d go for walks with her. We were never stuck in a spiral of inactivity. It’s easy to want to relax whenever you can, but in the end, you lose your rhythm. We just kept going.

I was so happy when she was able to go to daycare around 3 or 4 months. I could finally slow down and take some days off.

Postpartum yoga practice

I didn’t enjoy pregnancy at all, so yoga really helped me during that time because it was the only moment I felt like my body was the way it was before. After giving birth, I couldn’t wait to practice again and to get back to doing yoga the way I did before. There are so many poses you can’t do, ones that are dangerous for the baby, and you shouldn’t engage your abs too much, etc. I have videos of myself, Enzo filmed me, with Indya lying on the mat when she was one month old.

I waited 3 weeks before starting again because I knew it wasn’t good to do it earlier. In the videos, I practice with Indya a little above her, it was so great. I would go down into a push-up, give her a little kiss, and then continue, upward dog, downward dog. It made her laugh, it was her first smiles. Enzo was afraid I would crush her (laughs). It felt really good.

My advice is to listen to yourself. At first, I wanted to start again, but I could tell my body couldn’t keep up. At some point, I felt my abs coming back a little. I did very gentle things, or sometimes just meditation. I’d place her next to me, and open one eye from time to time to watch her gurgle. When they’re tiny, they don’t move, there’s no danger. That’s when it was easiest to continue my practice. When they start running around, it’s a whole different story!

During pregnancy, I gained 13 kilos, but I didn’t feel too heavy to start again. I lost my weight quite quickly, and my body returned to about how it was before after a year.

Setting up a new routine

Days go by so quickly. They fly by. In terms of my organization, I have my interns at home two days a week. On those two days, nothing else happens except for work on the jewelry. It’s both a disadvantage because it prevents me from progressing on other ongoing things, but at the same time, it’s great because it forces me to stay focused.

Generally, my entrepreneur days start around 10 AM. I drop Indya off at daycare around 9 AM, go back home to get ready, and by 10 AM, I’m at my desk. I start with a “To-do” list, checking what needs to be done today and throughout the week, etc.

When I’m not with my interns, I often have small appointments like today. Around 4 PM, you think, “Oh no, there’s only an hour and a half left.” It’s intense. But it’s not a bad thing. Having experienced life in a corporate job, there are many moments of pause. Coffee breaks, cigarettes, procrastination, etc. But here, there’s none of that!

And all those meetings you can have on the phone in two minutes, but that are endless in an office! You’re no longer distracted like when working in an open space, you know, that colleague who comes by to show you cat videos (laughs). Sure, your days go by faster, but you’re much more efficient. I get a lot more done between 10 AM and 5 PM than I did when I worked in an office.

Compared to before, it’s different. My day ends early. I pick her up, and once she’s with me from 5:30 PM until she falls asleep, I’m only with her. I realized it doesn’t work for me to try to respond to an email while Indya is next to me. Even sending a text message is tricky.

So, I gave that up. I use my phone only to film her or keep memories, but I try not to be working on my job. When she sleeps, around 7:30 or 8 PM, I eat and then hop back to work. Especially when I’m in the process of creating a collection, I like to work alone, peacefully. I set up my desk and work with Enzo nearby, doing his thing, while I work on my collections until 11 PM.

The creative process

As for my working method to create a collection, since it’s all about upcycling, the starting point is the vintage pieces I hunt for. For example, in what I’ve found, there might be crystal pendants, and I ask myself how I can incorporate them into a theme. That’s what I did last time, it made me think of Marie-Antoinette, who I find quite fascinating. It’s a mix of vintage starting points and inspiration.

I have a mood board, I spread out all the vintage pieces that match the mood board, and then I have purchases from suppliers because I mix in new items. Then, I’m at my table and I keep going.

Once I have everything in front of me — the mood board, the vintage, and the new — things move really fast. Everyone asks me how long it takes to make a necklace. Honestly, it’s very quick, it takes me about 30 minutes, but that’s not what’s important. It’s everything that happens before that makes the necklace work today.

Using social media

First, there's the fact that I don’t show Indya’s face. Even though we show a bit of our family life or snippets, it’s mostly suggested. Hiding Indya is really important to us, I didn’t want people to feel like they knew her too well and felt entitled to give advice.

I’ve had two or three mothers who took it upon themselves to give advice, people who follow me. One mom saw Indya’s pacifier in a story that appeared every two days, which is 5 seconds of Indya’s life. She took it upon herself to tell me that it wasn’t good, that I should take it away. We know what’s good or not, we don’t need others’ opinions. So, I told her off, I left her a voice message explaining that comments like that were not welcome, that it was only 5 seconds of my daughter’s life, so she couldn’t know how much time she spent with the pacifier in her mouth. And even if we were friends, I would never allow her to make such a comment. And I blocked her, it was radical. Strangers’ advice comes too easily on social media, so the first point is really to hide Indya.

The second point is that, for me, Instagram is a great communication tool. Without it, the brand would never have bounced back like this. My entrepreneurial life also nourishes the brand. I see my personal Instagram as something that feeds my professional Instagram. Today, I make revenue from both my professional and personal Instagrams. In the long term, I see Kitesy Martin as one whole, and both are growing simultaneously. My message about responsible fashion resonates on both. It’s interwoven.

Now, I have an intern for the professional side and another for the personal side. The one for the personal side is starting soon, and we’re going to create content about my entrepreneurial life and responsible fashion, but from my personal perspective. My other intern for the jewelry side will create content for the jewelry, for the drops. And all of this will generate revenue, which will allow me to be more free, not putting all my eggs in one basket, and not panic if I haven’t sold enough jewelry. And then there’s Humble Warrior on the side, but I have a business partner, so it’s much simpler day-to-day.

Prenatal yoga

I trained in prenatal yoga as soon as I knew we wanted to have a baby. I’m a real yoga enthusiast, I’m too afraid of not being able to practice the way I love to, I want to know my limits when I’m pregnant, what I can and can’t do.

I signed up for the De Gasquet training, I was trained by Bernadette, who is an incredible woman. I’m so glad I did a very traditional yoga training because, in fact, Bernadette has a very physiotherapist approach, very doctor-like. There’s no spirituality in her yoga, it’s biological and medical. It also helped me understand how I wanted to give birth afterward, etc.

When I was pregnant and still teaching for Humble Warrior, I tried every prenatal yoga class as a teacher to understand how it worked, and I was bored to death! And I thought there weren’t any prenatal yoga classes for women like me, who enjoy dynamic yoga. And if I thought that, I couldn’t be the only one, it’s not possible.

With my business partner, we created Baby Humble, prenatal yoga in the Humble Warrior style. Honestly, it was a hit, the only problem is that pregnant women, and I totally understand because I was the same, cancel at the last minute. One day, you feel like throwing up, or for new moms with a baby, it might not be the right moment after all. It’s really hard for pregnant women and new mothers to set a specific appointment.

So, it wasn’t profitable. Just one class a week with 6 students isn’t profitable. We need more classes. We decided we needed to find the right formula. We quickly tried video conferences, but it wasn’t quite right. Now, we’re creating a new formula. We’re going to create online classes with a subscription, and you can do your classes whenever you want. I don’t hold anything against those women who cancel at the last minute, I’ve been in their shoes. I know there are days when you don’t want to do yoga, you can’t, the baby isn’t available, etc.

In any case, there are several options: either you pay for the monthly subscription where you have access to all the Humble Warrior classes, or you pay for a single video, and it’s yours, and you can keep it on your phone.

The best advice I’ve received

The best advice I’ve received came from a man, a very good friend of mine who has three children. He told me, “Don’t listen to anyone, you know best. No one knows better than you,” and he’s right!